If I were a guy....

I wonder, would life be easier if I were I male?

If I were a man, and judging by the men in my life, it seems to me that I would worry a lot less about things, such as wearing clean clothes everyday or brushing my hair. I think I would only have to be concerned with my work schedule and all other schedules wouldn't exist...stuff gets done when it gets done. I would only have one calling at church (instead of my current 3) because NOBODY calls a man to more than one, right? And I could eat anything I wanted anytime I wanted, because my metabolism wouldn't be tied to my hormones or to my moodswings. And speaking of moodswings, I wouldn't have those either because I would have a wife who did all the worrying over kids and details and duties, leaving my nerves fresh and rested at all times. No longer would I worry about how I look or making sure I presented myself well, because men age so well and don't need Mary Kay or Miss Clairol to make them look good.


Now I know that if I were a man, I would lose my ability to accomplish 1000 things at one time with a child hanging on to me while I did them. I would no longer be so safe from botulism and salmonella poisoning and my taste buds would get burned out from the scary things I would put in my mouth just to see if I could live through the experience. I would not get to enjoy bubble baths because "that's not manly" and I wouldn't enjoy chocolate as much anymore. I would have to give up clean clothes and pretty shoes and I would have to start shaving my face. I don't like shaving my legs.....so I really do NOT want to shave my face too!

I'll stay female a while longer, but I do wish that there were a compromise in there somewhere, so that I could stop worrying ALL the time and could spend more of day in the bubble bath with chocolates.

A girl can dream....

People are Crazy

There is a song that comes on the radio (yeah its country) that is about 2 men. One is a young-middle aged man and the other is a much older man. The 2 meet in a bar and strike up a conversation over drinks. They talk for a couple hours, and laugh about the weird things in life,...and then the old man stops, looks at the beer in his hand and says "God is great.... beer is good... and people are crazy." The 2 go their separate ways and never meet again. Sometime later, the young man is reading the newspaper and sees an obituary for the older man. He'd died quite wealthy and left all his money to someone he didn't even know, making his kids quite angry. At the end of the song, the young man goes to visit the old man's grave and leaves a 6 pack on his grave and sings to him "God is great...beer is good... and people are crazy."

Ok so we've started teaching classes at the herb shop each month. Last month, Linda taught about allergies and ways of preventing symptoms, treating symptoms, and etc. This month it was my turn, and since we're doing a huge emergency preparedness fair (strike that, I'm not doing it... but its being done) and the herb shop is going to set up there (even though I'm told nobody cares if we do or not), I opted to teach first aid kits and how to use the herbs you would put in such a kit.

It starts out with lady #1 showing up. Then shortly after, lady #2 comes in. Lady #2 calls before she comes to the shop because she says she is allergic to cigarette smoke and "that other lady makes her sick." So when I see her pull up in the parking lot, I run to Linda and forewarn her that this lady has a hard time with cigarette smoke and doesn't mind expressing that, so be aware. No problems so far!

Now its time for the class to start, so I have a video I played for the first half which tells the categories of items you need in a kit, and of course it gives examples of those things but since there are so many options, you can pick and choose and actually customize for your needs. Cool huh? :) Before long, in comes lady #3 and UH OH! She's brought 4 more people (and a puppy!!!) with her! So I raced around and got out extra chairs and found extra hand outs while lady #2 moved from her chair to a different one and everybody was tucked in to my classroom all snuggly.

Towards the end of the time, I went through the product options that fill those categories of things you need in a kit and everybody was all smiles,... until.....

DUN DUN DUN!!

I suggested they all look underneath their chairs for a raffle ticket that had been taped there, which was the winner of a door prize. YAY LADY #3! You win a bottle of peppermint oil! But oh no... Lady #2 is not happy! That was where SHE was sitting originally and she got up and moved over to make room for her. She told lady #3 that should have been hers since she had been sitting there first. Lady #3 just looked at her, smiled, and collected her bottle of peppermint oil from me.

Now you might think this is the end, but no.

Lady #2 had questions to ask. So I answered has best as I could and gave her 20% off all the things she chose to purchase. That wasn't enough! She wanted the video too! I sent her to Linda to ask how she could get one. I don't know the answer to that,...and am not asking! Well, remember the handouts? I gave 12 pages of info that followed along with the video so closely that they really didn't need to take notes, but if they wanted to, I also let them use a notepad and pen from the shop. Everybody gave the notepads and pens back,... except lady #2. When she got to the cash register to check out, Linda asked for the notepad back. The lady had not taken any notes on it, so I don't understand where the attachment came from,... but she did NOT want to relinquish her grip on that notepad! AND she told Linda how ugly lady #3 was to her by taking her free gift and informed Linda that she should give HER one as well! That was only fair! I'm not sure how Linda put it to her, but the lady didn't get the notepad, the pen, NOR the free gift and got real lucky to get the items she purchased for 20% off!

Today, lady #3 came back to the shop to sign up for next months class ---- blood pressure!

..... people are crazy!