Tuesday, April 20, 2010

If I were a guy....

I wonder, would life be easier if I were I male?

If I were a man, and judging by the men in my life, it seems to me that I would worry a lot less about things, such as wearing clean clothes everyday or brushing my hair. I think I would only have to be concerned with my work schedule and all other schedules wouldn't exist...stuff gets done when it gets done. I would only have one calling at church (instead of my current 3) because NOBODY calls a man to more than one, right? And I could eat anything I wanted anytime I wanted, because my metabolism wouldn't be tied to my hormones or to my moodswings. And speaking of moodswings, I wouldn't have those either because I would have a wife who did all the worrying over kids and details and duties, leaving my nerves fresh and rested at all times. No longer would I worry about how I look or making sure I presented myself well, because men age so well and don't need Mary Kay or Miss Clairol to make them look good.

Now I know that if I were a man, I would lose my ability to accomplish 1000 things at one time with a child hanging on to me while I did them. I would no longer be so safe from botulism and salmonella poisoning and my taste buds would get burned out from the scary things I would put in my mouth just to see if I could live through the experience. I would not get to enjoy bubble baths because "that's not manly" and I wouldn't enjoy chocolate as much anymore. I would have to give up clean clothes and pretty shoes and I would have to start shaving my face. I don't like shaving my legs.....so I really do NOT want to shave my face too!

I'll stay female a while longer, but I do wish that there were a compromise in there somewhere, so that I could stop worrying ALL the time and could spend more of day in the bubble bath with chocolates.

A girl can dream....

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