Tuesday, September 27, 2011

The Newest Morganism

Morgan: "How do you get to be a convict in the church?"
Me: "What? Do you mean a 'convert'?"
Morgan: "Oh..... yeah"

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Morgan is 10

Happy Birthday to Morgan- yesterday!

Last year, Jared's birthday came at a very inconvenient time. I was tied up with the Ag Center's Heritage Days and we camped out there and put up a "living village" demonstration and lived the demonstration-literally. Jared's birthday was in the middle of that, and having cake and ice cream while camping in October is just plain difficult. So poor Jared missed out on having a birthday. We were so broke we couldn't do anything anyway, but Tommy scraped together a couple dollars and let him pick out some toy soldiers for his birthday. He thought we forgot him.

That has haunted me for 11 months now.

Yesterday was Morgan's birthday. It comes at a generally more convenient time and it seems to work into other happenings quite easily. I knew I wasn't going to have much money though, so I was worried and kept thinking about poor little Jared who is always trying to measure up in everybody's eyes.

I had a job cleaning a house, so Mesa and I went at too:early am and got that done. We got paid and split the money. We went directly to the bank and cashed that check and then went to walmart. Wednesdays are scout days, so I had no chance to make a cake OR cook birthday dinner, so I picked up a nice black forest cake and then went on the hunt for presents. I had to be sparing on the prices, but I could do this! I found some $5 movies and got him 2, and got him a bottle of BB's. Then Mesa and I walked into the toy section. There were sea monkeys! Mesa got him some.

Home we come, grab up everybody and head to scouts. Tommy took Jared (with Jared's $2 in hand) to the Dollar Tree where he bought Morgan a light up laser sword. After scouts, we went to Little Caesers and picked up 3 hot and ready pizzas for supper. Home we went for our "party" where Morgan proceeded to squeal with delight with all this awesomeness. Then he HAD to start his sea monkey water!

Today he got to add the eggs to the water. He wanted to know what his new babies would look like, so we googled them. Have you ever wondered what sea monkeys look like?

So back to Jared.
Jared wants to know is HE getting a cake and presents this year or do we plan to forget him again?
Um,... does anybody have an answer handy for me?

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Granny Getters

Get her boys!

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

To Last Week's Dopehead...

The lady that just shopped POLITELY and left here happy said I'm wonderful.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Not Quite There Yet

I sent my baby across the country where I can hardly have contact with him. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done, BUT I DID IT and I didn't die from it---yet. I was handling it pretty well, I thought, but things are heaping up on my feelings faster than I can process them and now I'm not so sure I'm handling them at all.

It started with Thursday night. We came home from TN and Manti wasn't there to check on the animals and do his nightly chores. That wasn't too terrible, and believe it or not, I didn't cry when I saw his jacket still on the back of the dining room chair. When I went to my bedroom and found a precious letter on my pillow from him, that DID warrant tears, so I shed a few, but I was smiling while I did it. I needed that tenderness from him.

I thought I was ready to go on to work and handle the stuff that comes in there. Well...I wasn't mentally or emotionally prepared for the man who came in with HIV and felt the need to offer me condoms and education on his personal condition. I didn't know what to do but listen and try not to look horrified. I felt exhausted and had a toothache, so I took something for it and went to bed early. That should be a good thing, right? It was...I slept till 7am! Got up for work, and before I could get out of my car, my phone was ringing. I started to ignore it, and I still don't know why I answered it, but it was the little girl Manti had gotten pretty fond of ... and she wanted MY advice. Me, of all people,... she wants my advice on dealing with her loneliness now that he's gone. She clearly doesn't know me. She took the advice I gave very graciously and I have to admit I was pretty impressed with her manner. I was more impressed with myself and having words to offer her!

A few hours later, I'm pining for my boy and fighting the urge to cry. I looked up a song Mesa had me listen to and posted the youtube of it onto facebook. Next thing I know, Mesa is telling me to go check my email. Sure enough, there is an email from Manti! MY FIRST ONE! I started crying before I even opened it. The letter was nice, it warmed my heart, but it had an impersonal and rushed feel to it that made me ache for more. It was sent to me and Tommy both, not either of us individually. I feel like a rat for feeling disappointed it wasn't just for me. Still, it was a letter and that alone was priceless, so I printed it and hugged it and cried like a baby.

Anyway, the day progresses and this man comes in asking for a product that helps cover up the use of drugs in a drug test. It could be used to clean up and quit, but this particular one, almost nobody uses it that way. So he asks for it, I show it to him, and he has this older guy start writing a check. Store rules are that I can't accept a check for detox products. Simple as that, so I told him so. He thought that was "jacked up" and left to go get some cash. I said ok, and felt like they really would be back, so I went ahead and wrote up a ticket and got it all ready for them. Shortly after, the younger of the two came back in for the bottle with cash in hand and wanted to know how did I come up with $1.60 for tax on $22.95.........I did it on my adding machine again to show him that's what comes up when you multiply $22.95 x 7% and add them together. He handed me the cash and I made change. As I was handing him the change back, I dropped a dime on the counter. I was moving a little quick because my emotions were still a bit churned up from crying over Manti's email. I told the man I was sorry I'd dropped the dime and reached to pick it up and hand it to him. He grabbed it instead and said "don't worry about it, I can read your body language. Would you hand my bottle of Stat and I'll get out of here." So I handed him the bottle, a bit confused, and then I reached for a sack and his receipt. He said he didn't want them and walked out of the store. As he was going through the door, he says "Wow, you're pompous!"


Am I?
What did I do that seemed pompous?
How in the world did I convey that right that moment?
Am I really?

So now I'm a bit worked up, because I don't know if I'm really portraying myself (or think of myself) as "self-important" or not. I don't know!! Was I coming across as trying not to touch that man? I don't like to touch a LOT of people,...just ask my kids! It's got nothing to do with my own self-importance. It's just unnerving to me to be touched all the time, and if you're a stranger, it's even MORE unnerving to me. But I don't intentionally hold things out by the tips of my fingers to keep myself from brushing against someone. Is that why he thought I was that way? Because I dropped a dime? Or because I was shaking a little from crying earlier? Or is he really that big a &$%#!? I'm sure his conscience is as dirty as his urine and bloodstream, but is that enough to encourage such things?

And then I sit back down at the computer and see that Tommy has posted a note that Manti has emailed, and he says "this" and "that" and "something else".....and those things aren't in my letter that was sent to both me and Tommy. I know this is childish and jealousy and it's all garbage I need to get rid of,.....but did Tommy get a special note in his email and not me? Did he email Mesa and she read her letter to him and that's how he knows this? I'm praying its the second one and not the first. My feelings are so raw and feel so trampled on already that even something stupid as this burns a little more. It also makes me look at myself and say "holy crap your pompous person! Do you think you have to be more important to him than the rest of your family?".....I don't mean to, but maybe they think I do?

Makes me not want to go home from work today.

Friday, September 9, 2011

Farewell Party

Ok, so he's left already, but it's taken me this long to get enough time AND presence of mind to do this.

The Farewell Party

I realized after setting it all up that I had taken charge of this party and planned it totally out. It's Manti's party though, and HE should have some say in it. So I went to him and told him "this is your party, get it started." He did!

He thanked everyone for coming and told them how much he loved them all. I was proud of that. He asked for an opening prayer and blessing on the food, then invited all to eat. Once the food was pretty much gone, he asked Frank to take care of dancing things. So Frank stood up and explained to all what we were doing. He assembled his drummers to include Tommy, Morgan and Jared too... and started them drumming. Manti danced alone at first, then Frank had Mesa and I dance alongside him. We danced a few times in a circle with all of his relations.

After the dancing, Manti held a "giveaway" and gave away some of his things.

Quite a different farewell party, right?It was very enjoyable though, and Manti dictated how it all would celebrated.

Friday, September 2, 2011

In the Words of Jim Croce...

If I could save time in a bottle
The first thing that I'd like to do
Is to save every day
Till Eternity passes away
Just to spend them with you

If I could make days last forever
If words could make wishes come true
I'd save every day like a treasure and then,
Again, I would spend them with you

Thursday, September 1, 2011