Thursday, May 26, 2011

The Demons Are Coming

Years ago, some terrible things happened to me. I never really dealt with any of it either. Years after that, more terrible things happened and again I never really dealt with it. Just a few years ago, even MORE bad things happened,...but this time, I wasn't capable of dealing with it. I wanted to, but I didn't know how and I honestly didn't have the internal strength to just forge ahead and take care of it.
What I didn't know then, is that my swallowing it and keeping it out of sight meant that I began to be a different person. This person reacts badly on a frequent basis and those bad reactions have consequences that affect other people. It's an ugly pattern that has formed.
Recently, the opportunity arose to get some help for our whole family. The way it is presented will be more help to specific individuals, but the result should be that the whole family can heal from wounds that originated with me.
This help began this week. In order to heal, I have to relive some of those hellish events before I can actually "detox" from them. I don't like that, but I like them hurting me over and over again even less. I totally hate it that they are able to hurt my family too, so the healing is worth the pain. Still,...those of you who are around me regularly, please understand the demons are coming and I have to face them before I can slay them. I hope you don't feel any of the heat from that, but if you do...hopefully this blog post gives you some idea why it is.

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