The Silence in My Mind

We have 2 vehicles. One of them has suffered a malfunction and is quietly sitting at my house waiting for attention. One day it will get it. The other is my Durango, so that means we have to plan ahead for travel needs each day.

Manti works at Target. I work at Robins Herb Shop. They are maybe half a mile apart. Manti has to be at work at 7:30am. I have to be at work by 9am. On days we both work, he drives me to work and drops me off and then goes on to his job. I go inside, find a comforter we keep at the shop, recline my chair and lock it in place, prop my feet up on the other chair (shoes off of course), set my phone alarm to go off at 8:35am and I go to sleep!

At least, I try.

Today was tough. My mind had too much to say. I've had to force words out of my head before, and it was hard. I'm not successful for long periods of time,...so this was a challenge. Today, it sounded something like this:

"Shhh....stop talking. You can do this. Hush........ Seriously, hush. ..... You're worse than the kids, just be quiet and stop telling yourself to be quiet. Listen to the birds. Birds...haha...Thunderbirds? What's another bird car,... umm... ok I don't know and I shouldn't be thinking this. SHHH!"

A bird chirps.

"BIRD! Oh,... shhh...right....shhh"
"hmmm hmm hmm.... Marianna HUSH! Humming is no different than talking! Shh!"
"car.. car...car...SHH! Two birds....SH! ---------------- ----------------
------------- ---------------------- look how long I could be quiet for! HA! oops...."

A bird chirps. Another bird chirps. I might make it. The 2 birds must be talking.

"What time is it? WHAT? It's only been 5 minutes? *sigh* GO TO SLEEP MARIANNA!"

traffic noises, 2 birds continue,....

"hmm... argh! no singing!..........................ok, I'm doing it............that hang nail is really kind of sore...wish I wasn't thinking about it! shhhhhh shhhhhhh shhhhhh wonder if I can shush myself to sleep.....shhhhhh shhhhhhh shhhhhhhhh Whoever invented the shush anyway? That's not exactly a calming sound. In fact, if you hear it enough it will drive insane. I WOULD KNOW! ............
.................... ........................ ........................ ......................... .......................... hmm SHHH......
............................. hmmmm hmm..................... ...........................Wonder if SHHH............... ......
......................... ...................... ...................... ten minutes, keep it up................... .......................
..................... I'm so awesome....and that was a failure, so no I'm not SH! ....................... ...........
................... ............................ ............................ .......................................... so sleepy..................
............................. .............................. ..............................and  SHHH!................ shhh.................
................................its working!............................ shhhhhhhhhhhhh shhhhhhhhhhhhhhsshhhh....
15 minutes.... shhh, quit looking at the clock! shhhhhhhhhhhhhh shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh shhhhh
............... .............................."

FINALLY! I fell asleep.
And at 8:35am, my phone alarm went off. It startled me so much that I jumped and slapped at it. I nailed it perfectly, hitting the snooze button evidently. I was back out before I could even think to shush myself. At 8:40am, my phone alarm went off again. This time I came around enough to think about picking it up and shutting off the alarm correctly. I looked at the clock and though "I have enough time to fix a bowl of grits, brush my teeth and get the drawer ready for a business day."

And that was last thought before 9am when someone emailed me and made my phone chirp an alert sound. I nearly fell out of the chair with instant realization I was asleep and it was time to BE OPEN!

No worries, I opened the shop first and THEN I ate my breakfast and brushed my teeth.

My biggest question right this minute is..... did I get this from my mother or my father? Surely I inherited the incessant chatter in my head!