The Silence in My Mind

We have 2 vehicles. One of them has suffered a malfunction and is quietly sitting at my house waiting for attention. One day it will get it. The other is my Durango, so that means we have to plan ahead for travel needs each day.

Manti works at Target. I work at Robins Herb Shop. They are maybe half a mile apart. Manti has to be at work at 7:30am. I have to be at work by 9am. On days we both work, he drives me to work and drops me off and then goes on to his job. I go inside, find a comforter we keep at the shop, recline my chair and lock it in place, prop my feet up on the other chair (shoes off of course), set my phone alarm to go off at 8:35am and I go to sleep!

At least, I try.

Today was tough. My mind had too much to say. I've had to force words out of my head before, and it was hard. I'm not successful for long periods of time,...so this was a challenge. Today, it sounded something like this:

"Shhh....stop talking. You can do this. Hush........ Seriously, hush. ..... You're worse than the kids, just be quiet and stop telling yourself to be quiet. Listen to the birds. Birds...haha...Thunderbirds? What's another bird car,... umm... ok I don't know and I shouldn't be thinking this. SHHH!"

A bird chirps.

"BIRD! Oh,... shhh...right....shhh"
"hmmm hmm hmm.... Marianna HUSH! Humming is no different than talking! Shh!"
"car.. car...car...SHH! Two birds....SH! ---------------- ----------------
------------- ---------------------- look how long I could be quiet for! HA! oops...."

A bird chirps. Another bird chirps. I might make it. The 2 birds must be talking.

"What time is it? WHAT? It's only been 5 minutes? *sigh* GO TO SLEEP MARIANNA!"

traffic noises, 2 birds continue,....

"hmm... argh! no singing!..........................ok, I'm doing it............that hang nail is really kind of sore...wish I wasn't thinking about it! shhhhhh shhhhhhh shhhhhh wonder if I can shush myself to sleep.....shhhhhh shhhhhhh shhhhhhhhh Whoever invented the shush anyway? That's not exactly a calming sound. In fact, if you hear it enough it will drive insane. I WOULD KNOW! ............
.................... ........................ ........................ ......................... .......................... hmm SHHH......
............................. hmmmm hmm..................... ...........................Wonder if SHHH............... ......
......................... ...................... ...................... ten minutes, keep it up................... .......................
..................... I'm so awesome....and that was a failure, so no I'm not SH! ....................... ...........
................... ............................ ............................ .......................................... so sleepy..................
............................. .............................. ..............................and  SHHH!................ shhh.................
................................its working!............................ shhhhhhhhhhhhh shhhhhhhhhhhhhhsshhhh....
15 minutes.... shhh, quit looking at the clock! shhhhhhhhhhhhhh shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh shhhhh
............... .............................."

FINALLY! I fell asleep.
And at 8:35am, my phone alarm went off. It startled me so much that I jumped and slapped at it. I nailed it perfectly, hitting the snooze button evidently. I was back out before I could even think to shush myself. At 8:40am, my phone alarm went off again. This time I came around enough to think about picking it up and shutting off the alarm correctly. I looked at the clock and though "I have enough time to fix a bowl of grits, brush my teeth and get the drawer ready for a business day."

And that was last thought before 9am when someone emailed me and made my phone chirp an alert sound. I nearly fell out of the chair with instant realization I was asleep and it was time to BE OPEN!

No worries, I opened the shop first and THEN I ate my breakfast and brushed my teeth.

My biggest question right this minute is..... did I get this from my mother or my father? Surely I inherited the incessant chatter in my head!

 

Camp Card and Little Scouts

I now have 1 cub scout and 1 boy scout. Summertime is approaching, and THAT means summer camp is coming too. I've been quite content with taking my boys to cub scout day camp and participating as one of the volunteer leaders. I've done it for 5 years now (6 if you count that year Manti got to go)....but this year is different. This year, Morgan gets to go to BOY SCOUT camp, and that's very different.
First difference,...I can't go :(
Second difference,...that trip is a full week of overnight with way more people I don't know and only a few that I do know or that know him.
Third difference, ... that trip is in north Georgia.
Fourth difference, .... it costs $305 for him to go PLUS he has to have some specific equipment.

*GASP*

Jared's camp will cost $55 and I can handle that ok. It's the big number for Morgan that is taking my breath away. If I could go too, that would be SO much easier on my heart, but....
I did get Manti to agree to volunteer as a leader, but leaders have to pay $120 or something like that also. It covers their meals and a few other supplies. Manti refuses to pay for it (and I wouldn't ask him to) but says if his cost is covered by the ward budget, he'll go. I was told the budget will cover one adult and they planned on giving it to someone else already. (That someone else just volunteered a few hours before Manti.)

So I'm back to gasping and fretting.

The pack committee chairperson is one of my best friends. She looks out for me :) She got us permission to sell "camp cards" and the proceeds from it get put towards the cost of whatever scouting needs the boys have. So if they sell more than they need, the remainder of their personal proceeds can be applied to uniforms or books or other scouting gear they need. And these cards give them back 50% of whatever sales they make. Sounds good so far, right?

These little cards cost $5. That's it! Takes a lot of $5 bills to earn up enough to pay for camp, and remember they only get to keep half of that. So it's a bit of a work-out to say the least. The boys talked to my boss last week and got her permission to set up a table inside the shop and sell their cards from there. Yesterday and today, they did it. We put a table out next to the register counter. They wore their uniforms and set up their little card folders and we made 2 pages to go on the table as explanations if people wanted to read them. The boys set out one card each and they sat at the table ALL DAY LONG. They have their sales pitch and they've sold a few cards. Not quite enough to make much of a dent yet, but they are working on it. Out of 40 cards, they only have 23 left. That's not adequate in their thinking, so they are taking another tactic. They wanted to make a commercial that I could put on facebook for my friends and our neighbors to see. So we did it. It is so funny I can't stop laughing. And you should see the out-takes! They are hysterical, but I haven't tried uploading them. They should probably be pieced together into one video by someone who knows how to do that. They are truly funny though, I promise! In one of them, Jared introduces himself as Morgan LOL!

Anyway, I had to put this on my blog so my Mama can see it, so everybody enjoy my little entrepreneurs!

And if you want a camp card, let me know! (Actually I think you can use Dicks Sporting Goods anywhere there is a store, and Publix coupon is good anywhere in Georgia, Alabama and Tennessee. Don't know about the rest.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8FQhCtyup2k&feature=youtu.be

The Fort

The previous post tells you how our Sunday began.
THIS post will tell you how our Sunday came to an end. It seems to me to be a cartoon from start to finish.

I'll preface this story by saying my children are very giving and forgiving and anxious to be friends with anyone and everyone....in their own ways of course. Morgan is extremely social and wants to experience every friendship he can find. When he was a toddler, he would ride in my grocery cart and start up a conversation with every single person he could get to respond to him. I did say EVERY person,...that wasn't an exaggeration! Jared wants friends too, but his shy streak is so extreme that he will likely NEVER make the first move towards a friendship, but he WILL be right there waiting for it to land in his lap.

All four of my children have a naive streak, probably because of being homeschooled. I'll take that....it leaves a sweetness in them that I am not willing to give up. So anyway, my little boys don't understand a bully. They just don't get what drives them. They will sit and brainstorm about one trying to figure out why in the world they want to act that way when being friends seems so much more fun. I love it that they are so totally baffled by that. Sadly, one of the bullies in their world is a cousin. The kid is their age and somedays is a great person for them to play with. And then there are all the other far more common days where he needs to be dropped off at the pound.....in another state!

So yesterday afternoon, after the whole ordeal with Morgan "betraiting" Jared, the two boys went outside to work on their tree fort. They worked for hours...literally! After a few hours, Morgan came in and told me how Jared had just "gone off" on said cousin. I get an ear full and I won't even go into it...it just makes me mad. Turns out that cousin thinks building a fort sounds fun, so he and his buddy are going to build one too.,...and the limbs Morgan and Jared are using look easy to use and better what they have handy. So they start taking the limbs away from Morgan and Jareds fort. The boys got upset and Jared saw Morgan start crying. That was all it took....Jared tore out after these older boys and laid into them and demanded their stuff back. He got it too LOL! Ultimately though, that just meant these boys were going to do other mean things to them.

I have long since gotten fed up with this kid. He has stolen things from us and another neighbor, tore up Tommy's equipment, called the kids (and Tommy and I) some rather foul names, shattered the boys by telling them there is no Santa, shot at them with bb guns and airsoft guns, thrown rocks at them, hit them with sticks,....

So "Mama Bear" struck and out the door I went. I found where the boys were building their lean-to fort. It's technically not our property anymore, since family land borders were redrawn and divided up between brothers. The little kids didn't know that,...so I told them. I also told them (loud enough the 2 pains in my backside could hear me) that they needed to play on the opposite side of our property where they aren't affected by those 2 nasty boys. Morgan said "Mommy, they are hiding right there in those bushes!" I said quite loudly, "I know they are, and I hope they know that not only can I see them, but I'll also see them the day I call the police to come out here and deal with them for trespassing and bullying the kids and tearing up property and anything else I think of when it happens." Yeah, I got told on.... *insert an eye roll here* I'm in Mama Bear mode, remember?

I told the boys to take down their broken limbs and branches. Drag them in the wheel barrow across the property and to follow me....I'd show them a better place. Off we went. And yes,... I know what I'm doing :D

There is a wooded area to the side of our property that we rarely do much with. I showed it to the boys and sent one after rope and one after limbs. They drug nearly every broken branch across our yard to this spot in the woods. They gave me some paracord and tied it around some trees in a circular shape. Then I took the limbs and sort of wove them together around these trees. Then I had the boys use their pine limbs with lots of green needles and fill in the "basketry" I had woven. I wouldn't let them cut anything off other trees, but privet hedge is nasty stuff that tears up lawn mowers, so I sent them after pruning shears and had them cut privet and bring it to me. (That was good thinking on my part....they weeded my herb garden LOL!) Privet is flexible, so it helped tie all those limbs and branches and needles together. We left an opening so they have a door. Then it was a little too dark to mess with and I had them come in. Today though, some of the same bratty behavior started, so I went out to help them a little more. They souped up their walls with lots of pine boughs and I let them get an old wooden chair and stool to put out there. Then I let them move a stack of firewood out there and build a stone fire ring. No fires right now, but this fort is big enough they can both camp out there when it gets warm,...and the firewood will be there waiting for them. It could use a roof, but we'll wait on that for tnow. It is surprisingly well done! Hard to see the kids when they are inside of it! They filled in the walls pretty well. I was proud, so I took pictures.









The moral of this story is,....don't mess with Mama Bears cubs.....cuz she can build a better fort than you and she'll enforce trespass laws AND tell your daddy what she thinks of you AND cause you to get grounded AND anything else she can think of! :)

Wake Up Call

It's Sunday, and we missed church. Why? *sigh* Well....... the short version is that Tommy has been installing new walls, floor, and shower after ripping out the old from our bathroom. We've been bathing out of the sink for about a MONTH now and he's desperately trying to finish it for us...and his back is charging him overtime for every minute he puts into it. So this morning, he couldn't stand up straight to walk to the bathroom. This also contributes to another problem,... Morgan is a pre-teen....he NEEDS a bath! (I think I'm going to ship him off to Mesa's for a bath later today!) Add to that a little problem with Jared who has battled a stomach bug for a few days and still feels a little nauseated....and then Manti got hurt at work and suffers residual symptoms from a concussion,.... so this mom is worn out and is just gonna stay home.

After I got done putting my "lotions and potions" on Tommy's back and informing the boys what they could make themselves for breakfast, I finally got to go back to sleep. It was nice...until about 11am.

That's when it started....
the yelling....
the smoke...
the child jumping onto my bed and getting in my face so I'd wake up....

Let me stop right here and say,... I do love my boys.

The story goes like this:
Jared got on my bed to tell on Morgan. Last week, we had a rather pronounced ice storm and a lot of trees and branches have come down because of it. We even had an earthquake because of it! Well, we've cleaned up most of the branches on our property, but the boys wanted to leave one because the branch fell right against the tree and made a perfect lean-to shape. Jared desperately wants to build upon it to make himself a play house. He had talked Morgan into helping, but Morgan wasn't helping. He was actually having a shouting match with Manti in the kitchen where the smoke was happening...but I'll get to that in a minute.
Jared is upset and he tells me all about the limb he wants to build a lean-to on and how he got that promise out of Morgan but Morgan wasn't keeping his word and Jared was devastated because his brother had "betraited him." He doesn't like having a "betraitor" for a brother!

He wasn't happy when I laughed, so he left my room and went to the livingroom to cry about my insensitivity, I guess.

The next noise to get my attention is Morgan, who keeps chanting "EXPLAIN - GUIDE - DEMONSTRATE - EXAMPLE!" followed by Manti who says "You're right, but I'm NOT DOING IT!" The giggles started forming in my mind and then bubbled out of my mouth till I had to call Morgan in for a talk. I asked him to tell me what the EDGE method was. So he repeated it "explain - guide - demonstrate - example." I laughed again and told him he was a little mixed up, he switched the d and g and used the wrong word for the last e. "Explain - Demonstrate - Guide - Enable." That started Morgan yelling at Manti again for telling him he was spelling it right when it was wrong.

Now stop here for a moment,.... this is not a true fight. These kids keep laughing in the middle of their screams and yes, occasionally somebody got smacked or something thrown at them, but they were playing as much as arguing----everybody but Jared. He's genuinely "betraited."

Back to the story:
I was really proud of Morgan, because the EDGE method is a scout term. It is a tried and true guide to teach anyone anything. In the boy scout handbook, one of the requirements is to teach another person a skill using the EDGE method. It's something I learned when I went to Woodbadge, and I find opportunities to incorporate it into things I do quite often now. It works! So my kids have been picking up on it and incorporating it also. *PROUD MAMA*

I had to call Morgan back from his shouting match with Manti and ask him what he was badgering Manti about. He tells me that Jared asked him to help build the lean-to, but Morgan has never done that before and isn't sure what to do. Manti has built lots of them and KNOWS what to do. He's a scout, and a scout is "helpful, courteous and kind." [insert another motherly laugh at the expense of my oldest son] That means Manti needs to go outside and EXPLAIN - DEMONSTRATE - GUIDE - and ENABLE his two younger brothers so they can build the lean-to and Morgan can keep his word.

Manti is cooking. I yell across the hallway to him "what's burning?" Manti says "I HAVE NO IDEA! Morgan keeps pestering me!" Who knows.... probably some cleanser on the burner wasn't rinsed off well yesterday when the stovetop got wiped down. I don't know, but no fire. It stopped too.

If you know Morgan, you know he can't stand still for 2 seconds, not even when he's going to the toilet, so he had left the room by now even though we were still talking. He yelled back at Manti his EDGE method definition and then told Manti it was his fault that Jared was crying. Manti yelled back that it was Morgan's fault because HE'D made a promise and not fulfilled it. Manti said "YOU are the one who betraited him!" I had to fall back on my pillow laughing all over again.

I know I'm the responsible adult in this situation, and that I should step in and find a compromise and utilize a teaching moment.... don't judge me.... you would have laughed too.

So now, my 2 little boys are outside trying to lean pine limbs against a tree so they can have a cone shaped lean-to playhouse, Manti is in his room stringing beads and trying to rest, Tommy is STILL in bed and I'm thinking I sure hope the crazy house I get put into has some hot pink furniture and soft stuffed fox toys for me to curl up with when I get there.

BRAG!

That's exactly what I'm doing! BRAGGING!

Background info:
For Christmas, I gave Mesa some round looms to learn to knit with. Morgan gave her a box full of yarn so she had supplies. She and I learned how to do it with the included directions and she had knit a newborn size hat before she left my house that day. It was really neat and just the creative type things I get into. I tried really hard NOT to get myself a loom because I wanted Mesa to feel good about herself doing something creative that her mother (who is always doing creative stuff) can't do. I couldn't hold out. I had to get myself a loom. I was a good girl, I got a totally different kind from Mesa's so she can be better than me at round things and not get intimidated. (Yes, I really worry about that.)
Well Christmas was Wednesday and today is Sunday. I had gotten a skein of yarn and made a narrow scarf last night. It took me 4 hours and I used the whole skein. It wasn't quite as long as I would have liked, so I looped it on my neck and pinned it with a brooch Tommy had given me 24 years ago for Christmas (awwww) and felt pretty good about myself at church today.

After church, Jared was determined that HE was going to knit too! Do you see how big that word
D E T E R M I N E D is? I was ready to rip out hair! That was just after one hour of his nagging me! I had some stuff to take to Mesa and my loom does flat panels. I figure it could probably do round ones too if I'm creative with it, but I haven't done much yet so why tax myself and hate knitting on the second try? I went to Mesa's house and we traded one flat loom for one round loom. I showed her how to do a flat panel and then came home and showed Jared how to use the round loom. I only had to show him one time. Look at this kid!









Seriously...He is so proud of himself, as he should be! I'm just as proud. He's also won out....he'll be getting his own loom asap!

SURPRISE!

You probably thought I had neglected my blog,...maybe even figured I had forgotten I had one...or perhaps I just felt you didn't need to know anything in my life anymore....right? wrong.
In fact,... back a few weeks ago, I got a text message from Mesa and the whirlwind began then.

What whirlwind? ... you ask....

That's what I got on my phone. Two pink lines means that in August, we should have one pink baby too.

Do not call me Granny, Grandmaw, Grandma, Gran Gran, Mawmaw, Nana or anything else. I'm not old enough for such language! I'll wait for the baby to start talking to me and tell me what my name is. *shivers*

So your mind is reeling with questions, right? I'll answer a few:

• Due date is August 5th. 
• Yes, morning sickness has struck....hard.
• If you ask her what she wants, she'll say "a duck", because in reality, she doesn't care so long as it is healthy.
• Is she excited? Like a little Justin Bieber fan!
• Is John excited? yep.
• Am I excited,............ ummmm....... 

Well, let's say it this way, when there is a baby in my arms, I'll be thrilled. Between now and then, I see a belly full of stress and worry. I have PCOS and it has caused me difficulties with every pregnancy except MAYBE Manti. Mesa has exhibited several of my symptoms already and has had a little spotting. So I have concern there. I feel like they as a couple are very ill-prepared for such an adventure, but as I have said for nearly 2 years now,....this isn't MY lesson to learn or my reward to earn. I have a hard time shutting my mouth and letting go, but I really do try. I worry myself silly and I do too much...and a baby is going to increase all of that for me. But the good news is.... I have till August to work through that and find my excitement too.

Now before anybody scolds me or preaches at me, I am NOT disappointed or upset and I am NOT downplaying this special time for Mesa and John. I'm just feeling cautious and concerned and motherly worry for the health and safety of my daughter.....and my unborn grand-daughter (yep,...that's what I'm guessing at this point.)

So there you go! SURPRISE!

Road Trip- Part 1

This story will be a little heavy on the pictures, so I'll tell it in 2 parts.
Part one started with a special scout camporee. This particular camporee we attended to support a patrol mate of mine from my session of Woodbadge training. His name is Al. While we were at Woodbadge, there were a few times we needed to adhere to the "buddy system" and Al happened to be MY buddy. He's a great guy and I admire how he talks about his family. That man LOVES his family!
So anyway, this camporee was a part of Al's project (also known as his "ticket")...to prepare it and document the planning and to provide a guide for others to follow in putting together future camporee programs in his district. I don't live anywhere near there, but Al invited all of our patrol and it just so happened that I got to go....AND I got to bring the whole family! (Everybody but Mesa that is.)

Off we went to the North Georgia Mountains to the Woodruff Scout Reservation where pitched a few tents and hunkered down for our first night of camping.....where it promptly dropped dramatically to 26 degrees!!! No I'm not joking! Tommy was on a cot. Manti was on some animal hides and blankets. Morgan was in a tent with his buddy, Adrian (where I had to help him remember how to sleep INSIDE a sleeping bag! go figure!), Jared was on a narrow air mattress and I was on a good sized air mattress with the best sleeping bag EVER! We were fine, but boy were we surprised at the temps! We survived, but wow!

It was a great camporee (a first for me and Morgan and Jared!) and I got to spend it with two of my best friends (Sara and Tommy) and my favorite boys. What a blast we had!

BUT....the story doesn't end there!

Sunday morning, we got to experience a "scouts own" service, which is a non-denominational religious service planned and prepared and presented by the boys themselves. That was first for my little boys too. After we did that, we took down our tents, packed up the car and headed....

NORTH!

Yep, north....to Cherokee North Carolina. It was a nice scenic view all the way. From all the walking during the camporee, I could barely get my legs to work so I got Tommy to drive me around like Miss Daisy :D Ahhhhhhh the life! That means I got to take pictures! And that means YOU get to see some of them now :D You thought I'd never get to this point, right?

 

This is a distant view of the mountains as we were coming up on Blairsville Georgia, the area where the scout camp is located.

 

Manti standing in front of this sign. Who cares who William Bartram is, it's Chief Atakullakulla we were interested in, because he is a REALLY distant ancestor to Tommy's side of the family. Neat, huh?

 

 Morgan was easily excitable this whole trip. We're standing at the edge of an overlook, looking down at the Nantahala River.

 

 And this is the Nantahala River.

 

This one is inside the Cherokee Reservation. This is the Oconaluftee River that runs through the middle of town. I found it sweet how the boys followed Manti around wanting to see everything that interested their older brother.

 

 This one was taken over near the Kituwah Mounds. The area has been through a lot of changes. It is now strictly used by registered members of the tribe for hunting and gardening. Visitors may drive through and look, but may NOT leave the path or touch anything. Their gardens were unbelievable! I've never seen so much corn in one place in all my life! Anyway, the view of the mountains from those fields was amazing. It was a foggy morning and the haze over the whole town was gorgeous.

See what I mean? Gorgeous!